Out Here in the Fields

Ismayilli was recently visited our (“our,” because both the volunteers here are from Youth Development) program manager. This will be her first visit to Ismayilli after taking the job earlier this year. All program managers in Peace Corps Azerbaijan visit the volunteers periodically. We’ve been visited once before as part of these periodic checks and once during a special camp my sitemate was leading with her organization. The first visit was about the same time last year, but still while we were in our mandatory host family time, so part of the visit was also to check in and see how we were getting along with our host families. We were also still in the process of getting situated with our host organizations. A lot has changed since then. I don’t know how it is in other PC countries. I don’t even know the details of other programs here, but more or less, we’re left alone to do the work of Peace Corps out here in Ismayilli. The only times I’m really contact or am contacted by PC and my program manager is when there’s trouble or sometime important is coming up (like a conference). And without commenting on whether or not that’s anyone falling down on the job, I gotta say that I like this independence. I’m sure it’s different for other people. People who want to talk more to their program managers for that extra support or inspiration, a push in the right direction, can and do talk more often. But I like being on my own here, setting my own schedule, judging my own work. There have been times when I’ve needed that kick in the rear, especially during the winter months, when it’s hard to get out of bed and go to work. But by and large, I am self-analytical and self-critical enough most days to judge when I’m doing enough, when I should be doing more (or less) and what I can do to do a better job. I’m definitely not always perfect, but mostly things have seemed to work out all right. One thing I know for sure is that readjusting to life in the US is going to take some time, and this is just one more area that will call for some adapting. Working with direct supervision, and really any kind of work with other people will be a shock to the system. Partly, I figure this is because most of my work experience has been pretty individualistic. Lifeguarding is by nature a solitary task as one sits above people playing and splashing, only communicating when necessary. Spending a summer outside by a lake in the woods was also pretty isolated. Maybe I should go be a fire lookout next? Spend the summer months alone in a tower looking out over acres of woods. Sounds better than sitting in a cubicle.